how has the disease of addiction affected me physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally?

The disease of addiction has caused me to become very isolated and negative. I am constantly paranoid and can not grow emotionally, maintain relationships or behave responsibly in life. Physically I am fat, out of shape and have chronic digestive problems. Spiritually I am unable to reach out to others energetically and be helpful to them, which is something I love to do. I am broken down, dead and trapped in the past.