Am I avoiding action because I'm afraid I will be ashamed when I face the results of my addiction? Am I avoiding action because I'm worried about what others will think?

I am avoiding action because I am afraid to be vulnerable with another person. I have a hard time finding anyone on earth who can meet up to my expectations of them. When I am with other people I can be very accepting of them as long as they maintain their distance. If someone tries to get close to me I feel very scared of that interaction. I continue to put up walls between myself and others to avoid intimacy. This is also the root of my relationship with Craig because the physical separation between us allows me to avoid real intimacy.